Tag: children

Auction Lover Off the Ol’ Block

Posted on May 8, 2014February 18, 2015 by Mama

I introduced my three-year-old son to the auction last week and can I just say, “I’m so proud.” He kept his eye on the prize, and before the night was through, he brought home the item of his young-hearted second-hand affection.

Mom and I took my little guy to a small auction in Oklahoma while I was in town for a few days and my son, like a moth to a porch light, zeroed in on an old green engine and it took all the control he could muster to keep his hands off the toy train. In fact, we had to “visit” it several times during the night.

Finally, about two hours later, the toy table finally made its way to the front of the room. I intended to bid on the “gem” of an engine but was seriously hoping that no one else would be interested. To up my odds, I grabbed my son just as the auctioneer picked up the train and stood him up on a chair, hoping that the rest of the room would surely not bid against this cute little guy of mine.

With an opening request of $15, I barely got my number in the air when my son shot his arm straight up and hollered, “Me!” We just happened to be at the very back of the room and everyone turned around to see who was possibly so excited about this not-so-good of a deal. The tactic worked and not a smiling soul dared bid against us, and the cheerful auctioneer was half way back to our seats before yelling “sold” and handing us our prize.

I’m not sure my son’s smile (and eyes) could get much bigger as he realized the little toy train was his. . . come to think of it, the smile on my face was probably pretty matchless too.

Does God Have Bones (and Other Things My Three Year Old Wants to Know)

Posted on April 9, 2014February 9, 2015 by Mama

The other night as bedtime came (and passed) I was finally drifting off to sleep in a quiet house, when I heard a shout from the other room. My three-year-old son’s voice came wafting down the hallway asking, “Does God have bones?”

Now that’s a good one. I mean, I’m assuming God has bones since He made us in his image, but He sure doesn’t need bones or maybe doesn’t even want bones. I’m guessing gravity is a concept made for Earth, but who knows how Heaven really works.

So what’s a mom to do with these types of questions? I usually chuckle a little at his inquiries, softly smile and answer to the best of my ability; but I gotta tell you, sometimes these questions come flying at me at the strangest times and during the oddest moments, and the older he gets the more his tongue exercises its right to free speech. I mean, the kid isn’t quiet for more than 1.3 minutes at a time (and that’s on a good day). I love that he is so inquisitive, that he enunciates so well that I can understand most of what he says and that every question isn’t simply “why;” but some days my brain just needs a break, because this little guy is constantly asking me questions that keep me hopping for the right answers and quietly asking a few of my own.

Yes, I know you’re dying to feel my pain (and my pride), so I’ve included just a few of my little one’s latest inquiries here.

Does God have bones?
Why did Emily (my pregnant niece) eat that baby? Well, if she didn’t eat it, how did it get in her belly?
Why is a giraffe a giraffe?
What is dead and dying?
Why does Alanna (my niece with new braces) have train tracks on her teeth?
Why do cats have pointy toes?
Is pee-pee water? Then I’m watering your plants (to my Mom and thankfully outside)?
Why did God make kitty cats? (Yes, I know some of you also ask this question.)
Does God have kitty cats up in the sky?
Do babies pick their noses too? (It’s the “too” that’s the clincher here.)
Is Jesus up in the sky? Is He a boy or a girl?
Are trains boys or girls?
Why do babies poop their pants?

photo credit: ucumari photography (Valerie) via photopin cc

His Social Graces are no Match for His Vocabulary

Posted on February 19, 2014March 3, 2015 by Mama

So we’re entering a new phase in our family — the turn thirty shades of red because your three-year-old just said something way out of line phase. Yes, you experienced moms know what I mean. I’m afraid my hand is just not quick enough to cover my sons mouth as he blurbs out rude comments and misguided “compliments” to surprised (and so far, good natured) folks we encounter at random. As much as I try to explain that it’s rude to say certain things, I know he’s really not to blame. It’s just that at this point in his life his social graces are just no match for his vocabulary.

Last week as we searched for a parking place in the unusually crowded Parents Day Out parking lot, I headed toward Rock Star parking just to be edged out by a large SUV. Although I spied the spot first, the other driver had no clue I was circling around for a landing. I simply showed my disappointment with a heavy sigh and verbal explanation, “She took my spot.” There wasn’t much angst in my voice (for once) and I quickly got over the issue. . . but apparently my son had a beef with the matter and he needed to be heard.

As we were walking to the building several strides behind a couple of ladies (not the offending party) and their small children, my son started yelling, “Ladies. Hey ladies.” [Insert Jerry Lewis voice for effect.] He got their attention, and I was still clueless to what he might say. “Good morning, hello or how do you do?” Nope. He proceeded to tell the unwitting party that they took our parking spot.

They were confused. I was dazed. They laughed it off. I blushed and assured them that they did not take our spot. Apparently this was not the outcome my son was hoping for so he repeated himself. “Ladies (at least he didn’t say ‘hey you’) you took our parking spot,” he said with conviction. This time they acted a bit offended. I was stammering. They didn’t laugh, and I blushed (as if I could be any more pink). I apologized to the offended party and tried to explain to my son why his comments were rude, and for my efforts I simply received a blank stare.

Of course this was just one of the quickly mounting encounters with innocent bystanders these days. I just never know when a stream of three-year-old consciousness will come zinging out of my little one’s mouth while I stand by, helpless to prevent it. I’m simply left to smooth things over (some comments are much easier than others), explain manners once again and pray that Duck Tape will come out with some new mother-friendly muzzle for little ones with opinions.

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